Do you use reflection to increase your happiness? - Sage B. Hobbs

Over the weekend, I went to the Apple store with my 13 year old son to buy myself a new computer. We had already bought him new glasses and hit up Birdcall for lunch. I was loving this rare time alone with my teen.

By the time we’d gotten to the Apple store, he was losing his patience for “errands with mom” day. So, I was focused on being quick and efficient. I’d researched online and knew what I wanted to buy. We were in and out of the store in less than 30 minutes with my gorgeous, new MacBook Air in Space Gray (I let him choose the color.  He’s way more hip than me, of course).

It wasn’t until later, when I showed my purchase to my husband, that it hit me. I reflected on the last time I’d gotten a new computer. It was about six years ago, when my business was just getting started. It was a huge financial investment for us at the time, and all of my family pitched in to get it as a gift for me.

I was so moved. It was a gesture of their belief in me and the work I was trying to do in the world.

Fast forward to this past weekend, and it was completely easy and stress free to make this needed investment in my business. I was able to walk in, buy it with my company’s funds, and leave with my son to enjoy the rest of our day.

It sounds so silly, simple (and a bit posh) to share this example with you all. But it really landed for me… I am proud of myself. I’ve worked really hard to build this business and I put my heart into it. 

And it’s working.  

I have the most incredible clients EVER (shout out to the school principals, non-profit CFOs, and community organization EDs!).

I ask them on every coaching call or training session to reflect on what is going well and where they’re still struggling.

They so often want to skip over the “what’s going well” portion (what I call the WINS) and jump right to the parts they can change, improve, or fix.

We’re so wired, especially leaders, to find what’s broken and to solve problems. We rarely take the time to reflect on our progress. So much of our happiness comes in this reflection process — the recognition of our own growth and successes (even if we’re still striving for more).

So, today I invite you to try this out:

  • What’s going well for you?
  • What are some of your wins?
  • Where have you made growth or progress?

Get granular about it. Dig into the so-called “little things”.

  • Are you reading more books? 
  • Going for walks?
  • Letting others lead meetings that you always used to take charge of?
  • Getting home for dinner with your family more often than you used to?

Please let me know! Really, I read every email reply and love to celebrate your wins with you, no matter how “small” they may seem.

The world is A LOT. We’re in election week in the US. There are lots of heightened emotions and anxiety. We’re working hard to make our lives meaningful, to connect with our loved ones, to do work that matters.

We need to reflect on our wins, find our moments of celebration.  

I appreciate each of you. Thanks for being in this conversation with me.



P.S.  I’m currently booking work for next year. When you’re ready, here are 3 ways that I can help you or your organization.

  • Leadership coaching that supports you in leveraging your strengths and building your capacity. 
  • Team training and development that builds trust and connection.
  • Motivational speaking at college and university campuses

If you want to talk further about bringing my work to you or your team, please schedule a call HERE. 

And if you missed last week’s blog, inspired my dear friend Martha, please check out “Fall, Death, and Living Your Legacy” HERE.


Book I’m currently reading:

It’s About Damn Time by Arlan Hamilton

  • Incredible personal story of a Black, Woman, Gay Venture Capitalist (who at one time struggled with addiction and homelessness).  TONS of wisdom, activism, and courageous truth telling.