How guilt and comparison are crushing your awesomeness

Guilt and comparison can be the death of us.  Truly.  We will never be perfect.  Usually, there will be someone who is better looking or more talented than us in some way.  And yet, we drive ourselves batty with trying to do it all just right.

As a working mom, and a Jew-Catholic offspring, I sometimes feel I’ve cornered the market on guilt and perfectionism.

But, then I put on my big girl pants and say F-it.  I remind myself of what kind of life I want to create for me and my family.  Of what kind of values I want to embody and show my kiddos. (More on how to say F-it and live life on your own terms here and here.)

So, let’s look at how we beat ourselves up with guilt and comparison, and how to cut it out, shall we?

Today I dropped my son off at kindergarten with his little sack of Valentines for his classmates.  We were instructed by his teacher that they must be hand made.

When I first read the teacher’s instructions, I had a moment of panic about how the hell he was going to make 25 Valentines himself, and what the other kids would make.  And then, I literally laughed at myself for this bullshit comparison madness, and went and bought $8 worth of supplies for him to get started.

I gave him 3 full weeks to do this project. Thus, no stress and no tears.  He totally freakin’ rocked it, and showed such independence and persistence.  (FYI- these are some of those values I want to have and teach.)

And I got a fresh reminder on letting go of comparison and guilt.

I didn’t buy super fancy and expensive supplies.  And I didn’t feel guilty about it.  I didn’t make the Valentines for him.  And I felt proud about that, and so did he.  There were no tears of frustration… huge badass mama high five for that one!

They were different shapes and sizes.  Some more rough around the edges than others. Not perfect.  And exactly as it should be.  

What guilt do you allow to weigh you down?  Where are you still beating yourself up for not being perfect?  Who are you still comparing yourself to?

Here are two ways to let go of the guilt and love yourself more.  Sounds good, right?

1.Recognize what you are good at and what comes easily to you.  Write a few things down.  I KNOW you’re mad talented, so don’t short change yourself.   Are you a great dancer, awesome cook, super organized, patient mama?  Hilarious, creative, smart, athletic?

Give yourself some love and acknowledgement already!  We often spend way more time on the negative and hold back on the positive.  This is a dirty old habit that you can start to change now.  Honor your awesomeness.

2.Now, recognize what you aren’t that good at, or what doesn’t come that easily for you. Write a few things down.  Remember, we are not perfect, so of course everyone has a list like this.  Can’t figure out the remotes to save your life and technology makes you want to scream?  Nightmare in the kitchen?  Suck at keeping track of your keys?

AND, give yourself a freakin’ break already!  Stop trying to perfect those things that are painful for you.  Sometimes it’s like asking a frog to fly.  It just isn’t going to happen.  You can make systems to improve, or ask for help.  But beating yourself up is an insane energy drain.

So, try out the tips above, and then  tell us what you’re great at and what you’re letting go of in the comments below. 

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Thank you for being a part of this Badass + Brilliant community all over the world.  And for hanging out with me each week!  I know you are busy, and it means so much to me that you take the time to juice up your inspiration with me.

Keep being Badass + Brilliant.  You are change agents.  The world needs you.

Game on!

xo

Sage

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P.P.S.  It’ February, and maybe you need a compassionate kick in the ass to keep you moving forward with clarity and confidence? Yeah, that’s what I thought.  SO… I’m offering my 2 hours “power session” for only $197 (typically $347) to first 10 people to grab it.  If you’ve been waiting for your chance to check out coaching, or if you’re READY to get into action, this is for YOU.

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