The Both/And Approach - Sage B. Hobbs

It was 7:17am on Monday morning.  I had to actually “dress for work” because I was leading group coaching sessions with elementary teachers online, all day, starting at 8:00.  

My husband and I were trying to have a quiet conversation with our tween before his younger sister woke up, so we were all in our bedroom – including our puppy. Out of nowhere, mid-conversation, as my husband is scratching under the sweet puppy’s chin… she throws up.  A lot. In his hand and all over the beautiful rug that belonged to my grandparents.

Sorry if that grossed you out!  I was more than a little grossed out myself.

But we got it cleaned up, and I made it to my desk in time to welcome these amazing teachers into our group wellness sessions. 

I started by sharing this story about the unexpected challenges that life can throw at you before you’ve even really started your day.  There was lots of laughter and commiserating, as we told of puppy stories and Monday morning woes.

And then we dove into our time together – building collegial connections, identifying self-care practices that actually feel supportive (even under challenging circumstances), combating compassion fatigue, and sharing laughter and a few tears.

I think it’s so important to hold a both/and mindset, to not box ourselves into binary options.

We can have a challenging morning, and move on to find joy in the rest of our day.
We can juggle stressors at home, and enjoy our professional lives. 
We can feel both grateful for our good fortune, and sad about our struggles.

I love that I get to do the work I do. I spent Monday with incredible teachers.  I spent Tuesday talking to public health professionals about health equity.  All of us, human beings striving to make a positive contribution to the greater good and take care of ourselves along the way.

Where can you allow yourself to have a bit more permission to experience the both/and of your life?


We’ve  released two new episodes of Race, Culture, & Beyond: A Naked Conversations Podcast Series!

I’m so proud of this work that Erica and I are doing together, even though it can be extremely challenging to dig into these topics (another both/and). 

If you haven’t listened yet, please do.  More than any other work I do, these conversations feel like the most essential to share.  There’s more info below.

And finally, if you get value from these emails, if they make you think, smile, learn in some way… please forward to a friend and invite them to join the conversation.

Who Says If You’re An Ally or Not?

In this episode, we honor my dad and his legacy (we recorded on what would’ve been his 70th birthday).  We also talk about:

  • What we liked and didn’t like about the Bridgerton series
  • The definition of allyship: what it is and what it is not
  • Being an ally vs. centering ourselves as white people
  • Being an ally vs. white saviorship 

You Don’t See Color? The Problem with Color Blindness and Racism

In this episode, we delve more into anti-racism by discussing color blindness. We talk about:

  • Examples of the harm that color blindness can cause
  • “Color blind” theory – myth busting
  • What color blindness is not 
  • Being color blind vs. color brave 

Upcoming… I’ll be hosting a virtual workshop on “Raising Culturally Competent Kids” with a friend and colleague in April.  Stay tuned!  Knowing how to have hard conversations with our own children is key.

Much love and more nakedness,